Envy is usually our first feeling when we see someone we love doing something exciting or fun without us. We become jealous and judgmental almost immediately after and are left stewing. In an article I read recently, it explained how to take a step back from these feelings and how to begin showing yourself "self-compassion". Through self-compassion you can become happy for the other person and let go of the envious feelings.
It's easy to feel happy for others until a situation is presented that you wish you were a part of. The article states that to dull negative feelings you should first stop “self-blaming”. It is common to feel envy in this type of situation, so you shouldn’t beat yourself up about it. Instead of focusing on your envy and letting it manifest, it states that it is better to think about why you’re feeling how you feel because you’re not self-blaming at this point. Once you get past this idea of self-blaming it’s supposed to open you up to being compassionate and happy for others.
What I got from this article was basically to think clearly before you react, which can be said so easily but can be extremely difficult to carry out. Emotions are so powerful and can overtake someone quickly but if you have enough power to keep the idea of self-compassion in your mind then go for it. The article was overall heartfelt but could’ve been more descriptive in the terms self- blaming and self-compassion in the given situation.
A.C.
Bernhard, Toni. Feeling Happy for Others Can Make You Happy Psychology Today, 02. Nov. 2016, https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/turning-straw-gold/201611/feeling-happy-others-can-make-you-happy?collection=1095555
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